Share Your Love With Me.

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Say what you will about the racial undertones of McDonald’s new chicken nugget commercials, fact is, they’re good and effective. Hell, just yesterday while trying to find something to eat for lunch, I decided to go to McDonald’s on the off-chance that I’d run into a crackhead some off-brand singing-arse ninja crooning, “why won’t you, share your love with me//girl you gotta 10-piece, don’t be so sting-ayyyyyyyyyy.”

No such luck. But I did order some crack the 10-piece chicken nuggets. And mm-mmm were they good.

I appreciated the processed goodness of McDonald’s chicken nuggets because of that commercial. Which means only one thing: advertising does in fact work.

(Unless it’s for TBS’s show House of Payne, which might be the WORST television show I’ve actually ever seen. No seriously, it’s that bad. I watched an episode the other day and it was painful. I can never get those 22 minutes of my life back. Luckily, the McDonald’s commercial played a few times. They weren’t being sting-ayyyyyyyyy. Thank you.)

For instance, when Girl A starts running to her homegirls to regale them with stories of all the…things their man won’t dooooooo-ooooo (sorry, I had a Joe moment), it subconsciously places a marker in Girl B’s head of, “hmm, she went to Jared, and he broke her off like that?! Man…I wonder…”

Now, that doesn’t mean that Girl B will run off and try to get some of that good sticky-icky-icky from Jared, but the thought is there. And besides, everybody knows that every kiss begins with “k”.

Fact#1: Women like to talk. And women like to talk to their friends about good things.

Fact #2: Women are trifling…to one another. Men may be trifling, but we do generally abide by the code.

If you talk to 8 out of 10 men, most of us will tell you that you don’t go bragging about your exploits, outside of the numbers game; mostly because we don’t really have to. Break a woman off properly and she’ll do all the mouth-work for you.

That’s a pun.

She’ll run her trap and sell you to a bunch of chick who didn’t even know they were in the market to buy. She becomes your own personal PR rep. Most women are akin a mid-level marketing agency who just got a lump-sum of money to peddle a new product. And if you don’t disappoint, hombre, she won’t disappoint. You’ll have more options than a Barack Obama presidency.

That’s a lot. And do you know why?

Because advertising works.

In undergrad, I remember these two chicks that stayed in the dorm with my Spelman sister. They began to HATE one another because of exactly what I said earlier. Girl A ran her trap. Girl B decided to see if she was lying. Boy was enjoying college and when opportunity knocked, he answered…literally. Two girls don’t speak anymore but Boy A has two more notches on his belt.

You know, if you think about it, pr0n is advertising. Sure it’s false advertising, but it leads to men and women both trying to find partners who can do acrobatic moves and often being disappointed when they realize that everybody isn’t able to do a running cartwheel, double axle with a back twist right into carnal position. But that’s neither here nor there.

To the women out there, have you ever run your trap about your exploits to your friends, only to have it comeback and bite you in the arse? Fellas, have you ever benefited from some chicking running her gums?

Or even better yet, falks, does advertising work?